This Is Just A Test
This Is Just A Test
Earlier this morning, I was cleaning up after breakfast. Standing at the sink, doing the dishes, back to the TV, when I heard that sound. You know the one I’m talking about. The emergency broadcast sound.
The Berko Stare
This post is dedicated to my friend Jeff, who thinks he’s going to be in my car when I’m the victim of road rage after I give someone my yet to be famous stare…The Berko Stare.
Cars For Christmas
Cars For Christmas
Before I rant, let me start by saying I’m Jewish…in case you don’t know. During the holidays, I like to say that I have my own brand of faith – Jews For Christmas. It goes beyond the traditional Xmas eve dinner celebration of movies and Chinese food. I like the decorations…I like the family time….I like the festive atmosphere…and the list goes on.
Diamond Nose Daze
Diamond Nose Daze
Rhinoplasty. What a strange word for “nose job.” Sounds like a combination of large african animal and some kind of high tech explosive.
The Big One Is Coming
The Big One Is Coming
A note from me: Everyone once in-a-while I write something but never finish or publish that post. This is one of those times, as I originally started this over 2 years but never finished. With the latest tech breach at Equifax, I’ve dusted this one out of the draft files and finished it off.
Wedding Proposal Daze
With kudos to Jeff for taking what is widely considered to be everyone’s favorite photo of the happy couple.
Wedding Proposal Daze
Two of my favorite movie wedding proposals belong to John Cusack. #1 is Grosse Pointe Blank, followed closely by High Fidelity. Wedding proposals
PornoPromography
PornoPromography
A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine sent me a picture of his son and his prom date. She was wearing a fire engine red dress with a plunging neckline. Because all men are dogs, I knew that my friend was very proud of his son and the babe he had scored for his prom date. This would be the first (and certainly not the last) of many such images that would become a constant reminder that it now prom season, and that parents of young ladies would be posting many such pictures of their daughters wearing even more revealing prom dresses. So, I have come up with a name for this syndrome, social media phenomenon, call it whatever you want but I’m calling it PornoPromography.
I’m going to take you back to April 2005, to my very own daughter’s Sweet 16 birthday party. Now (and Allie please don’t shoot me over this one) one of the standard lines I had to repeat to my 16 year old daughter was “Allie, do you have to be so in love with your cleavage?” When it comes to this type of stuff, I have plenty of personal experience….and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
The night of her Sweet 16 – an all female event – there were several other young ladies who were equally “in love with their cleavage.” So much so, that I felt I should be walking around with blinders on. It’s not that I was looking, it was just that you couldn’t avoid them!
When we got in the car to head home, I commented to Allie that several of her friends were definitely suffering from the “love my cleavage” syndrome. Without hesitation Allie said “you mean Jen, April and Chrissie.” Moving on.
At this time of year, pretty much any day you take a look at your Facebook page, there they are. The smiling faces of teenage boys and girls heading to their prom. Maybe it’s my imagination but it seems like each year the dresses get more revealing and the parents seem prouder to share their daughter’s assets with the world.
Where a few years back you had cleavage, now you have those side cut dresses that seem to be all the rage with high fashion set. On a model or cheap tart reality TV star (and I think you all know who I mean…because there are so many of them…but one that really just annoys the hell out of me….but that’s a story for another day), show off 3/4 of your boobs is one thing. You are trying to draw attention to “me” because after all, in your mind it’s all about “me.”
When you are a teenage girl, who are you showing off to? But in my mind the real question is who bought you that dress? Why are they letting you out of the house without it on? And why are they showing you off to the rest of the world in a dress like that? And why didn’t they buy a pair of blinders for your prom date!
Memory Savant
Memory Savant
Have I ever told you about my crazy long-term memory? Well I got one. I often remember things about people that they don’t remember about themselves. As I’m fond of saying, “If I tell you something about yourself, chances are it’s true.” Don’t believe me? Just ask the roomies from SU…they will back me up.
Hit Reply All!
Hit Reply All…Sometimes
I’m sometimes wonder if people do things just to piss me off. Well not me, but they do it just to piss off other people in general.
Pre-Father’s Daze Day
Pre-Father’s Daze Day
Before I start this one, I have to get one thing off my chest. For all of you that put on social media or have posts written about you stating “I have the best father” or “happy father’s day to the best dad” or whatever best you’ve got, you can stop and read this post from January 2015: http://www.irasez.com/youre-the-best/
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