The Pope The Cardinal and The Rabbi

The Pope The Cardinal and The Rabbi

The Pope, a Cardinal and a Rabbi walk into bar.  Just kidding, well sort of. As most everyone knows, Pope Francis has come to America. I found it ironic that his visit to our country coincided with Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement and the holiest day of the year for us members of the tribe. Not only do we have 2 major religious events on the same day but, it just so happens that 20 years ago, my Rabbi had a front row seat when Pope John Paul II came to Giants Stadium.

Back in 1995, the Senior Rabbi at Temple B’nai Jeshurun (TBJ), where the Berkowitz family has been a member for the past 24 years, was Rabbi Barry Greene. A little history about TBJ:  It is the largest and oldest reform Jewish congregation in the state of New Jersey. It was founded in 1848 in Newark, by the influx of mostly German Jews coming to America from Eastern Europe. German Jews were big on assimilation. In other words we can know we’re Jewish but we don’t you to know we’re Jewish.

When my family first joined TBJ, I was one of a handful of congregants to wear a yarmulke (a Jewish skullcap) during services. That’s the way I was brought up – when in Temple, you wore a yarmulke. I learned that Germanic Jews very often shied away from any outward display of Judaism, which I discussed with Rabbi Greene.

In the 1950s, Rabbi Greene served as a Chaplain in the US Navy. His commanding office was Rear Admiral John O’Connor, Chief of Naval Chaplains. Yes, that John O’Connor, who would go to become Cardinal O’Connor, Archbishop of New York…and that’s how The Pope, The Cardinal and The Rabbi came together in Giants Stadium.

Rabbi Greene was invited by Cardinal O’Connor to sit with his delegation on the day the Pope spoke in New Jersey. Just like Bob Uecker, there’s my Rabbi, “sitting in the front row.” Might not have been the front row, but it sure was close. A couple of daze later, I happen to run into Rabbi Greene on Millburn Avenue just as he had left the one hour photo store (remember those???), where he picked up his pictures from his day with The Cardinal and The Pope. He very proudly shared those photos with him, and was quick to point the red skullcap The Pope was wearing. “Look,” he said to me. “The Pope is wearing a yarmulke.”

To this day, every time I put on my bright orange and blue yarmulke, I can’t help but think “just like The Pope.” Only mine is a slightly different color.

Trains Trains Go Away

Trains Trains Go Away

I grew up on the Port Washington line of the Long Island Railroad. Far and away the best train line in the NY metro area. The local was 33 minutes, the express 23. No change in Jamaica, frequent service, and not a whole lot of problems – from what I remember…but it’s been a very long time since I last rode the LIRR on a regular basis.

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Cleavage Daze

Cleavage Daze

Without seeming to be a complete sexist or pervert or gawker or groper…what the hell is with women and their cleavage? I understand you have it, and some of you are overly proud of it, but do you have to show it off so openly? What’s a guy to do? Ignore it completely?

Earlier this week I was in Shop Rite. Standing at the deli counter were 2 women – I’m thinking mom and daughter.  Neither of them were in what one consider good shape, although mom was certainly in better shape than her offspring  – the daughter should have been hitting the salad bar…not the deli counter.  They were certainly both zaftig (another great Yiddish word which is used to describe a woman’s ample body type), dressed in black stretchy pants, black tank tops, and major league push-up bras that pushed up their assets into a cavernous cleavage. They weren’t hiding much.

I always wonder what women are thinking when they show off their wares like that. Do they want people to stare at their chests because it’s pretty hard to avoid? And this is not a random occurrence. Woman show off their cleavage all the time, in all sorts of places, including certain times and certain places where it’s completely inappropriate.

Imagine if a man walked around, showing off his package in a something like this.

It would be hard not to stare, wouldn’t it? And a women’s cleavage is a lot closer to eye level than whatever this guy is showing, so if you were staring, it would be a bit more obvious. But you don’t see guys walking around with their junk in skin tight package. Bad enough some guys still wear Speedos to the beach. Imagine what life would be like if seeing a guy in extra tight undies were the same as seeing a woman in a super push-up bra. Not appealing.

So ladies, if you like having a conversation eye to boobs instead of eye-to-eye, go right ahead and keep on flashing those ta-tas at us. But with all these equal rights movements going on these daze, don’t be surprised if some guys decide to show off their nuts, just to claim equality with your boobs.