IraSez…in the Twilight Zone
IraSez…in the Twilight Zone
Before I get to the point of this one, here’s a little background info. 10 days ago, my 94-year-old father, who lives in Florida, was taken to the hospital for the 2nd time in the last 2 months. When you get to be that age, one thing leads to another and another, and he’s got a few issues at this point.
Hair There and Everywhere
Hair There and Everywhere
Way back in 1983, my wife and I were having dinner at the Wobbly Barn on the Killington Ski Resort Access Road. After dinner, we went upstairs to listen to the band playing. The guitarist had some sort of mole or birth mark on his neck, and growing out of that thing were several long, stringy hairs, that were probably over 6 inches long. My thinking was that dude should make a ponytail out of those things. Linda’s thinking was “that’s disgusting.”
Flash forward to this past November. I was at the lighting ceremony for the Winter Walk In Taylor Park (in ye olde home town of Millburn), when a gentleman walked by me suffering from the same affliction. Birth mark on his neck, long thick hairs, in a need of a ponytail. In both of those cases all I could think was “where are my scissors and good set of tweezers?”
One of my pet peeves (and I have quite a few) is nose and ear hair, not to mention hair growing out of other places where you just don’t want it and I don’t want to see it. I have friends who have lost most of their hair where they want it and have hair growing where they shouldn’t want it.
As my wife will tell, I’m pretty fidgety. Always have been and probably always will be. When I was young, I was constantly picking at or biting my nails. Now that I’m not so young, I’ve turned my attention to places where hair grows where it shouldn’t, such as those 2 fellas I told you about.
If you see me feeling around my ear lobes, the outside of my nose, that small birth mark I have on my neck…chances are my Spidey senses are telling “get the tweezers!” I’ve also have a spot on my back, one on my stomach and another on my right arm that need my attention from time-to-time. Many times, I don’t realize I’m doing it. I just get this itch and have to go hunting for the source.
But what constantly grabs my attention is men (and some of you women out there) who don’t pay any attention to this sort of grooming. You get your hair cut, your facial hairs are nicely trimmed and/or shaven (or zapped for you ladies) but you’ve got enough hair growing out of your ears to make bald man weep!
Luckily for me, most of the hair that grows on my body still manages to grow where I want it…on my head (the one on my shoulders, so just get your minds out of the gutter), and I don’t have those patches of hairs on my ears or those little stringy fellas that I so often see on the tip of another man’s nose.
And now for a quick update. Last week I had hernia surgery, which means they shaved all around the family jewels. After the surgery, I lifted my surgical gown, took one look at my now bald groin and thought “I forgot my after shave!”
A Florida Winter Daze
A Florida Winter Daze
This past Monday, I was in Florida visiting my dad. At home in New Jersey, the morning temperatures hovered in the single digits. In Florida, the low reached 45 with a bit of breeze but if you saw the way folks were dressed, you’d be hard pressed to tell the difference between NJ and Florida.
Shea Stadium Daze
Sticking with my truth is stranger (and sometimes funnier) than fiction theme. If you are a parent in 2018, I want you to picture this. You put your son and a few of his friends on a train, so they can go to the ball game with no parental supervision. Seems OK…right.
Frank Perdue and Kosher Chickens
Frank Perdue and Kosher Chickens
It’s been way too long and I can’t explain why, but let’s move on. As my family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, etc, etc, will tell you, I’m a man of many stories…almost all of them true…which I like to tell often and over and over again. After all, truth is stranger (and usually funnier) than fiction.
Long Before Someone Kneeled
There’s been a lot of talk lately about football, politics, TV ratings and what’s wrong with America’s most popular sport.
This Is Just A Test
This Is Just A Test
Earlier this morning, I was cleaning up after breakfast. Standing at the sink, doing the dishes, back to the TV, when I heard that sound. You know the one I’m talking about. The emergency broadcast sound.
The Berko Stare
This post is dedicated to my friend Jeff, who thinks he’s going to be in my car when I’m the victim of road rage after I give someone my yet to be famous stare…The Berko Stare.
Cars For Christmas
Cars For Christmas
Before I rant, let me start by saying I’m Jewish…in case you don’t know. During the holidays, I like to say that I have my own brand of faith – Jews For Christmas. It goes beyond the traditional Xmas eve dinner celebration of movies and Chinese food. I like the decorations…I like the family time….I like the festive atmosphere…and the list goes on.
Diamond Nose Daze
Diamond Nose Daze
Rhinoplasty. What a strange word for “nose job.” Sounds like a combination of large african animal and some kind of high tech explosive.
Recent Comments