Hair There and Everywhere
Hair There and Everywhere
Way back in 1983, my wife and I were having dinner at the Wobbly Barn on the Killington Ski Resort Access Road. After dinner, we went upstairs to listen to the band playing. The guitarist had some sort of mole or birth mark on his neck, and growing out of that thing were several long, stringy hairs, that were probably over 6 inches long. My thinking was that dude should make a ponytail out of those things. Linda’s thinking was “that’s disgusting.”
Flash forward to this past November. I was at the lighting ceremony for the Winter Walk In Taylor Park (in ye olde home town of Millburn), when a gentleman walked by me suffering from the same affliction. Birth mark on his neck, long thick hairs, in a need of a ponytail. In both of those cases all I could think was “where are my scissors and good set of tweezers?”
One of my pet peeves (and I have quite a few) is nose and ear hair, not to mention hair growing out of other places where you just don’t want it and I don’t want to see it. I have friends who have lost most of their hair where they want it and have hair growing where they shouldn’t want it.
As my wife will tell, I’m pretty fidgety. Always have been and probably always will be. When I was young, I was constantly picking at or biting my nails. Now that I’m not so young, I’ve turned my attention to places where hair grows where it shouldn’t, such as those 2 fellas I told you about.
If you see me feeling around my ear lobes, the outside of my nose, that small birth mark I have on my neck…chances are my Spidey senses are telling “get the tweezers!” I’ve also have a spot on my back, one on my stomach and another on my right arm that need my attention from time-to-time. Many times, I don’t realize I’m doing it. I just get this itch and have to go hunting for the source.
But what constantly grabs my attention is men (and some of you women out there) who don’t pay any attention to this sort of grooming. You get your hair cut, your facial hairs are nicely trimmed and/or shaven (or zapped for you ladies) but you’ve got enough hair growing out of your ears to make bald man weep!
Luckily for me, most of the hair that grows on my body still manages to grow where I want it…on my head (the one on my shoulders, so just get your minds out of the gutter), and I don’t have those patches of hairs on my ears or those little stringy fellas that I so often see on the tip of another man’s nose.
So boys (and girls), when you have a hair in a place you shouldn’t, please take care of it. You never know when I might take my figdety-ness out on you!
A Florida Winter Daze
A Florida Winter Daze
This past Monday, I was in Florida visiting my dad. At home in New Jersey, the morning temperatures hovered in the single digits. In Florida, the low reached 45 with a bit of breeze but if you saw the way folks were dressed, you’d be hard pressed to tell the difference between NJ and Florida.
Shea Stadium Daze
Sticking with my truth is stranger (and sometimes funnier) than fiction theme. If you are a parent in 2018, I want you to picture this. You put your son and a few of his friends on a train, so they can go to the ball game with no parental supervision. Seems OK…right.
Frank Perdue and Kosher Chickens
Frank Perdue and Kosher Chickens
It’s been way too long and I can’t explain why, but let’s move on. As my family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, etc, etc, will tell you, I’m a man of many stories…almost all of them true…which I like to tell often and over and over again. After all, truth is stranger (and usually funnier) than fiction.
Long Before Someone Kneeled
There’s been a lot of talk lately about football, politics, TV ratings and what’s wrong with America’s most popular sport.
This Is Just A Test
This Is Just A Test
Earlier this morning, I was cleaning up after breakfast. Standing at the sink, doing the dishes, back to the TV, when I heard that sound. You know the one I’m talking about. The emergency broadcast sound.
The Berko Stare
This post is dedicated to my friend Jeff, who thinks he’s going to be in my car when I’m the victim of road rage after I give someone my yet to be famous stare…The Berko Stare.
Cars For Christmas
Cars For Christmas
Before I rant, let me start by saying I’m Jewish…in case you don’t know. During the holidays, I like to say that I have my own brand of faith – Jews For Christmas. It goes beyond the traditional Xmas eve dinner celebration of movies and Chinese food. I like the decorations…I like the family time….I like the festive atmosphere…and the list goes on.
Diamond Nose Daze
Diamond Nose Daze
Rhinoplasty. What a strange word for “nose job.” Sounds like a combination of large african animal and some kind of high tech explosive.
Dear Right Wing Religious Types
Dear Right Wing Religious Types
I have a question for you. What the fuck were (and are) you thinking? Oh, I’m sorry. Does the f word offend you? Well I guess the word hypocrisy will as well because you all are a bunch of religious hypocrites.
Let’s look at the facts. You, the religious right, were major backers of Trump during the republican primary season. So you picked a man who has been married 3 times and actually cheated on his first wife with the woman who would become his 2nd wife (I know, I saw it). I guess your idea of family values was the more families the merrier. No sanctity of marriage issues?
As for his 3rd wife, you, the religious right, talk about chastity and purity. How about nudity?
I guess y’all find no issue with the fact that our new first lady has many assets, all of which were on public display many times for the world to see.
You tout his success as a businessman. I (and many others) call bull shit! The world of Trump is littered with his businesses he has bankrupted, his own and other businesses; filled with businesses that he didn’t pay or just sued until they had no more money to pay their lawyers. Don’t believe me? Spend a week in and around Atlantic City, a place where he once had 4 casinos, all of which went bankrupt, and you will find many people who think Trump is a dirty word.
But what’s worse about this whole thing is that you still back him when the man has shown no piety at all; he shows no humility; and he has shown no ability to lead on many of the core values The Bible (the old or the new one – take your choice) teaches – feed the hungry, heal the sick, help those who are in need.
Those who are in need do not get food, do not get healthcare, do not get help from those who are more fortunate than they (the same ones who are getting those tax cuts). You know who gets his help? The rich, the top 1% who are now in-line for a tax cut, exactly what they don’t need.
You state to all of America that you are red, white and blue patriots but you support a man who infuriates our allies, snuggles up to a murdering tyrant, belittles his opponents and has done nothing to deserve your religious like devotion. You say you have faith and believe in a man who walked on water, yet you support a man who walks all over those less fortunate than he is. Now what would Jesus say about that?
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