Hair There and Everywhere

Posted by: on Feb 4, 2019 | No Comments

Hair There and Everywhere

Way back in 1983, my wife and I were having dinner at the Wobbly Barn on the Killington Ski Resort Access Road. After dinner, we went upstairs to listen to the band playing. The guitarist had some sort of mole or birth mark on his neck, and growing out of that thing were several long, stringy hairs, that were probably over 6 inches long. My thinking was that dude should make a ponytail out of those things. Linda’s thinking was “that’s disgusting.”

Flash forward to this past November. I was at the lighting ceremony for the Winter Walk In Taylor Park (in ye olde home town of Millburn), when a gentleman walked by me suffering from the same affliction. Birth mark on his neck, long thick hairs, in a need of a ponytail. In both of those cases all I could think was “where are my scissors and good set of tweezers?”

One of my pet peeves (and I have quite a few) is nose and ear hair, not to mention hair growing out of other places where you just don’t want it and I don’t want to see it. I have friends who have lost most of their hair where they want it and have hair growing where they shouldn’t want it.

As my wife will tell, I’m pretty fidgety. Always have been and probably always will be. When I was young, I was constantly picking at or biting my nails. Now that I’m not so young, I’ve turned my attention to places where hair grows where it shouldn’t, such as those 2 fellas I told you about.

If you see me feeling around my ear lobes, the outside of my nose, that small birth mark I have on my neck…chances are my Spidey senses are telling “get the tweezers!” I’ve also have a spot on my back, one on my stomach and another on my right arm that need my attention from time-to-time. Many times, I don’t realize I’m doing it. I just get this itch and have to go hunting for the source.

But what constantly grabs my attention is men (and some of you women out there) who don’t pay any attention to this sort of grooming. You get your hair cut, your facial hairs are nicely trimmed and/or shaven (or zapped for you ladies) but you’ve got enough hair growing out of your ears to make bald man weep!

Luckily for me, most of the hair that grows on my body still manages to grow where I want it…on my head (the one on my shoulders, so just get your minds out of the gutter), and I don’t have those patches of hairs on my ears or those little stringy fellas that I so often see on the tip of another man’s nose.

So boys (and girls), when you have a hair in a place you shouldn’t, please take care of it. You never know when I might take my figdety-ness out on you!

A Florida Winter Daze

Posted by: on Jan 25, 2019 | No Comments

A Florida Winter Daze

This past Monday, I was in Florida visiting my dad. At home in New Jersey, the morning temperatures hovered in the single digits. In Florida, the low reached 45 with a bit of breeze but if you saw the way folks were dressed, you’d be hard pressed to tell the difference between NJ and Florida.

Shea Stadium Daze

Posted by: on Aug 23, 2018 | No Comments

Shea Stadium Daze

Sticking with my truth is stranger (and sometimes funnier) than fiction theme.  If you are a parent in 2018, I want you to picture this. You put your son and a few of his friends on a train, so they can go to the ball game with no parental supervision. Seems OK…right.

Long Before Someone Kneeled

Posted by: on Feb 1, 2018 | No Comments

Long Before Someone Kneeled

There’s been a lot of talk lately about football, politics, TV ratings and what’s wrong with America’s most popular sport.

This Is Just A Test

Posted by: on Jan 18, 2018 | No Comments

This Is Just A Test

Earlier this morning, I was cleaning up after breakfast. Standing at the sink, doing the dishes, back to the TV, when I heard that sound. You know the one I’m talking about. The emergency broadcast sound.

The Berko Stare

Posted by: on Dec 1, 2017 | No Comments


The Berko Stare

This post is dedicated to my friend Jeff, who thinks he’s going to be in my car when I’m the victim of road rage after I give someone my yet to be famous stare…The Berko Stare.

Cars For Christmas

Posted by: on Nov 23, 2017 | No Comments

Cars For Christmas

Before I rant, let me start by saying I’m Jewish…in case you don’t know. During the holidays, I like to say that I have my own brand of faith – Jews For Christmas. It goes beyond the traditional Xmas eve dinner celebration of movies and Chinese food. I like the decorations…I like the family time….I like the festive atmosphere…and the list goes on.

Diamond Nose Daze

Posted by: on Nov 16, 2017 | No Comments

Diamond Nose Daze

Rhinoplasty. What a strange word for “nose job.” Sounds like a combination of large african animal and some kind of high tech explosive.

The Big One Is Coming

The Big One Is Coming

Posted by: on Sep 8, 2017 | No Comments

The Big One Is Coming

A note from me: Everyone once in-a-while I write something but never finish or publish that post. This is one of those times, as I originally started this over 2 years but never finished. With the latest tech breach at Equifax, I’ve dusted this one out of the draft files and finished it off.

Wedding Proposal Daze

Wedding Proposal Daze

Posted by: on Jul 13, 2017 | No Comments

With kudos to Jeff for taking what is widely considered to be everyone’s favorite photo of the happy couple.

Wedding Proposal Daze

Two of my favorite movie wedding proposals belong to John Cusack. #1 is Grosse Pointe Blank, followed closely by High Fidelity. Wedding proposals