The Big One Is Coming

Posted by: on Sep 8, 2017 | No Comments

The Big One Is Coming

A note from me: Everyone once in-a-while I write something but never finish or publish that post. This is one of those times, as I originally started this over 2 years but never finished. With the latest tech breach at Equifax, I’ve dusted this one out of the draft files and finished it off.

If you are in your 50s like I am, you remember air raid drills from your elementary school daze. You’d be in school, the siren would sound, you’d walk to your locker, and squat down. Of course, you learned later on in life that you’d “kiss your ass goodbye.” In the 20th century, the bomb was the “big one” you feared.

In the 21st century, that big boom we’ve heard recently isn’t a bomb (unless the bad haircut man in North Korea does something really, really stupid). It’s the sound of technology crashing all around us. The sound of an airline being grounded because of a computer glitch. The sound of the world’s largest financial markets grinding to a halt because of an unknown technical glitch. It’s the sound of a massive data breach at a major government or at a company like Equifax that likes to tell you what your financial is but couldn’t keep that information protection. It’s the constant sound of the cloud being hacked, almost like thunder coming out of nature’s clouds, not the one man has made.

All these computer safety issues freak me out. I feel like my whole life is an open book, just waiting for someone to open it and steal my it away from me. Our society has become so married to technology that we don’t know how to live without it, which makes us incredibly vulnerable to anyone and everyone who would exploit the complete lack of security that is supposed to be protecting all this digital data. Seems to me that the information super highway has a bunch of on ramps and there doesn’t appear to be any way to get off.

Let me bring this a little closer to home (and home it will be). Cable TV, internet and phone providers are now offering full home security packages. These are not only alarm systems, but gives the homeowner complete remote access to their house via their computer, phone, tablet, whatever floats your digital boat. Gives you the ability to control your lights, appliances, whatever is hooked up to the system.

This sounds so great…right? No so fast. If you have remote access to your home, couldn’t someone else gain that access by hacking the system? And don’t give me this BS about how secure things because let me tell you, they ain’t and this not an original thought. It came up in a discussion I had with someone who works for a large multi-national insurance company and this is one of things they are starting to deal with – remote home invasions.

You get one of these systems, leave your home for an hour, a day, a week, etc, etc, etc.  Just as easily as you can see what’s going on in your house, so can the hackers who are thinking we’ve had our fun with Wall Street, let’s see what’s happening on Main Street. The next thing you know, you come home to a house with no electricity and a fridge full of yuck! Like I said before, this is not something I made up because I’m just not that devious. People who are way smarter than I am are dealing with this stuff and trying to figure out how to make all this technology safe for us all. Newsflash – they can’t.

Everytime you put your personal information out there into the cloud and into cyberspace, just remember – nothing that big stays aloft forever. Eventually gravity (or a computer hacker) causes everything to crash and burn.

Wedding Proposal Daze

Wedding Proposal Daze

Posted by: on Jul 13, 2017 | No Comments

With kudos to Jeff for taking what is widely considered to be everyone’s favorite photo of the happy couple.

Wedding Proposal Daze

Two of my favorite movie wedding proposals belong to John Cusack. #1 is Grosse Pointe Blank, followed closely by High Fidelity. Wedding proposals

PornoPromography

Posted by: on Jul 13, 2017 | No Comments

PornoPromography

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine sent me a picture of his son and his prom date. She was wearing a fire engine red dress with a plunging neckline. Because all men are dogs, I knew that my friend was very proud of his son and the babe he had scored for his prom date. This would be the first (and certainly not the last) of many such images that would become a constant reminder that it now prom season, and that parents of young ladies would be posting many such pictures of their daughters wearing even more revealing prom dresses. So, I have come up with a name for this syndrome, social media phenomenon, call it whatever you want but I’m calling it PornoPromography.

I’m going to take you back to April 2005, to my very own daughter’s Sweet 16 birthday party. Now (and Allie please don’t shoot me over this one) one of the standard lines I had to repeat to my 16 year old daughter was “Allie, do you have to be so in love with your cleavage?” When it comes to this type of stuff, I have plenty of personal experience….and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The night of her Sweet 16 – an all female event – there were several other young ladies who were equally “in love with their cleavage.” So much so, that I felt I should be walking around with blinders on. It’s not that I was looking, it was just that you couldn’t avoid them!

When we got in the car to head home, I commented to Allie that several of her friends were definitely suffering from the “love my cleavage” syndrome. Without hesitation Allie said “you mean Jen, April and Chrissie.” Moving on.

At this time of year, pretty much any day you take a look at your Facebook page, there they are. The smiling faces of teenage boys and girls heading to their prom. Maybe it’s my imagination but it seems like each year the dresses get more revealing and the parents seem prouder to share their daughter’s assets with the world.

Where a few years back you had cleavage, now you have those side cut dresses that seem to be all the rage with high fashion set. On a model or cheap tart reality TV star (and I think you all know who I mean…because there are so many of them…but one that really just annoys the hell out of me….but that’s a story for another day), show off  3/4 of your boobs is one thing. You are trying to draw attention to “me” because after all, in your mind it’s all about “me.”

When you are a teenage girl, who are you showing off to? But in my mind the real question is who bought you that dress? Why are they letting you out of the house without it on? And why are they showing you off to the rest of the world in a dress like that? And why didn’t they buy a pair of blinders for your prom date!

Memory Savant

Posted by: on Nov 23, 2016 | No Comments

Memory Savant

Have I ever told you about my crazy long-term memory? Well I got one. I often remember things about people that they don’t remember about themselves. As I’m fond of saying, “If I tell you something about yourself, chances are it’s true.” Don’t believe me? Just ask the roomies from SU…they will back me up.

Hit Reply All!

Posted by: on Sep 26, 2016 | No Comments

Hit Reply All…Sometimes

I’m sometimes wonder if people do things just to piss me off. Well not me, but they do it just to piss off other people in general.

Pre-Father’s Daze Day

Posted by: on Jun 20, 2016 | No Comments

Pre-Father’s Daze Day

Before I start this one, I have to get one thing off my chest. For all of you that put on social media or have posts written about you stating “I have the best father” or “happy father’s day to the best dad” or whatever best you’ve got, you can stop and read this post from January 2015: http://www.irasez.com/youre-the-best/

21st Century Disease Names Daze

Posted by: on May 18, 2016 | No Comments

21st Century Disease Names Daze

If you watch TV, you are constantly bombarded by ads for drugs that claim to treat a variety of ailments, most of which you have probably never heard of before. Where the hell do they come up with these ailments and diseases, and who the hell is sitting in a dark room somewhere figuring out what to call them?

The Sandwich Generation

The Sandwich Generation

Posted by: on May 13, 2016 | No Comments

The Sandwich Generation

The “sandwich generation.” A term I find myself using more and more, and a topic of conversation among my peers on what seems to be a daily basis.

For many of my friends who are anywhere between 40 and 60+, we are the sandwich generation. A thinly sliced piece of humanity nicely tucked between 2 pieces of familial bread. One of those pieces of bread is our parents, both of them if you are lucky. For many of us, that means an elderly parent(s), 80 years young and up. For some, their parents are snowbirds – they split their time between their home in the north and their other home in the south. For others, they have moved on to to warmer parts permanently. For me it’s the latter and it’s my dad, who will be 92 this August.

20 years ago, he “retired” to the Jewish Virgin Islands, a.k.a. Palm Beach County. His retirement lasted a few weeks before he started going stir crazy and threatened to move back north, which was not what my mother had planned. So off he went, in search of an accounting job, where he could continue his CPA career, which he found. Within a few months, he got his Florida certification and, until very recently, went to work almost every day. His major complaint during the summer and fall is that he doesn’t have enough work to keep him busy.

On the other side of our generational sandwich is our children. For Linda and me, that’s one in California and one who just recently moved to Brooklyn, to shack up with his girlfriend and his dog. Prior to that, he had been living at home for about 2 years, after graduating from SU in May 2014. He even went so far as to redecorate his room a few weeks after moving back home, which was a definitive sign that free room and board had it’s  benefits. Now that he’s gone, I’m slowly converting his room into my home office (which will probably come as news to him).

Having an elderly parent 2-3 hours away by plane and a child 5 hours away by plane has added a whole other layer to our lives. We like to see them both as much as we can, which is a strain on us emotionally, physically and fiscally. AMEX points and frequent flier miles got chewed up pretty quickly the first couple of years that Allie was living in lala land.

For now, we do our best to go west and south as often as we can but sometimes the meat that makes up our little sandwich gets a bit too stretched . What I really need right now is a hero. Unfortunately my sandwich is more like peanut butter and jelly. A little thin, a little sticky, but in the end, even a good PB&J is better than nothing.

 

 

 

Viagra Model Daze

Posted by: on Apr 25, 2016 | No Comments

Viagra Model Daze

Can we talk about ED…erectile dysfunction. Major Major Disclaimer (and if my kids are reading this, hide your eyes): ED is not a problem for me but I do get big kick out of those Viagra TV commercials.

Postal Service Daze 2016

Posted by: on Apr 23, 2016 | No Comments

Postal Service Daze 2016

About a year ago, I wrote this blog post about issues I was having with the US postal service:
http://www.irasez.com/postal-service-daze/