Aches, Pains and Pimples

Posted by: on Apr 21, 2022 | No Comments

Aches, Pains and Pimples

When you are in your  60s, you expect the little aches and pains that come with growing older (although I still haven’t grown up!). That shoulder that’s been operated on and the knee that’s been operated on can sometimes predict the weather. Than there’s other little ache, pains, strains, pulls, generally soreness, etc, etc, courtesy of father time to remind you that “hey…you’re not as young as used to be.”

What you don’t expect in your 6os is pimples but for some reason my face hasn’t gotten the memo. Maybe it’s my boyish personality brought on by a serious case of Peter Pan complex but over the past month or so I’ve gotten a few pimples. Couple of whiteheads on my nose (one last night), another one on my chin and a real doozy on my upper lip that was the size of dime…well maybe 1/2 of the size of dime…and was real nasty with stuff oozing out of it.

All these pimples gave me flashbacks to the early 70s (the decade not an age range) and a Clearasil commercial with that oh so catchy song. Sing-along if you remember the tune:

I’m an acne pimple, as lonely as can be
Don’t cry pimple, I’ll keep you company
Hey fellow pimples, would three be a crowd
All together pimples, singing very loud!
Naaaaaa, na-na-na-naaaaaaaa!

At this point I’d take a few more pimples if my joints didn’t crack or ache or stiffen up and I didn’t need 3 Advil before and after a round of golf. A few more pimples to sleep through the night without having to go…well…you know and to be able to sleep ’til noon again. A few more pimples so that my body felt 18 again because in my mind, I still am.

A Journey’s End – Day 5

A Journey’s End – Day 5

Posted by: on Apr 16, 2020 | No Comments

A Journey’s End – Day 5

They made a dashing couple!

A Journey’s End – Day One

Posted by: on Apr 12, 2020 | No Comments

A Journey’s End – Day One

Bar Mitzvah Day!

Good Round, Good Cry

Posted by: on Sep 6, 2019 | No Comments

Good Round, Good Cry

My hole-in-one, June 2016

Yes, it’s true. On June 18, 2016, on the 6th hole of the Gold Course at Flanders Valley Golf Course, a 200 yard downhill par 3, I hit my tee shot, watched it land just short of the green, take a couple of bounces and roll into the cup. I have witnesses, just in case you don’t believe me. I was speechless….shocking….I know. My big reaction was to put my hands on my head and gape wordlessly at the green below me.

As I walked down the hill, towards the green and my ball in that hole, I called my dad. Now this was early on a Saturday morning, an unusual time for my almost daily phone conversation with my dad. He picked up the phone and I said “Hi dad!”
His response was “What’s wrong” or something along those lines. Being that it was so early in the day, I’m sure it thought there was something wrong.
“Nothing,” I replied. “I just got a hole-in-one!”
He was very happy for me. The round continued and I played well below my average game but at least I had that hole-in-one. On a side note, the ball I hit was actually one I had just found in the woods, hit that one shot with, and it now resides in the top of my dresser draw waiting to place in some sort of hole-in-one display. I’ll get to it some day.

For those of you that are regular golfers, right now my handicap is a 10. For those of you that are not regular golfers, this means my average round is in the mid 80s, a good round is in the low 80s, and we want talk about the bad rounds. These are on courses where par is 72. Every once in a while, I will actually break 80 and shoot a round in the 70s. Usually this happens all once a year but last year it actually happened twice, which was the first time I had broken 80 twice in one season. I guess some things do get better with age!

Whenever I did break 80 or have a really good round, I could always tell my father was happy for me. Dad took up golf late in life, as he was more of a tennis player. I don’t think he ever really loved the game, never kept score, but my mom said “we are going to learn to play golf together,” so he did what he was told. He did like getting outside, and he always enjoyed playing with me during my trips to Florida over the years. Even when he stopped playing, he’d come along for the ride, just to get some fresh air and watch me curse my way around the golf course.

About 2 weeks, I once again broke 80, shooting a 79 on the same course where I got my hole-in-one. I was quite pleased with my round and was thinking there wasn’t anything that could ruin that moment. I drove away from the golf course, called Linda to let her in on the good news. After that call ended, my next reaction was to call my dad, only there was no one to call as he had passed away 3 months before. It was the first time all season I had something about my golf game to share with my dad and he wasn’t there for me to share it with him. So the tears came, just as they are now as I’m writing this.

Since my dad’s passing in April, I just never know when one of “those moments” are going to hit me. Even though it’s been well over 6 years since my mom left us, I still have “those moments” when something reminds me of her. Honestly, I hope “those moments” never leave me and I don’t think they ever will. I think of my parents every day but on the day broke 80, I just broke down.

Frank Perdue and Kosher Chickens

Posted by: on Aug 22, 2018 | No Comments

Frank Perdue and Kosher Chickens

It’s been way too long and I can’t explain why, but let’s move on. As my family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, etc, etc, will tell you, I’m a man of many stories…almost all of them true…which I like to tell often and over and over again. After all, truth is stranger (and usually funnier) than fiction.

Writer’s Block 2017

Writer’s Block 2017

Posted by: on Nov 2, 2017 | No Comments

Writer’s Block 2017

The other day, a friend of mine commented to me that he had seen any new blog posts from me in a few months and that I was writing as much (if at all). To this I have to plead guilty as charged. Got me to thinking…why haven’t I been writing as much?

Holey Jeanetics

Holey Jeanetics

Posted by: on Nov 2, 2017 | No Comments

Holey Jeanetics

There are certain fashion trends that I never quite understand. Capri pants for man…no thanks. I don’t walk that lightly in my shoes. Those balloon pants that MC Hammer used to wear in the 80s. What was that all about? Woman wearing Uggs boots with a short skirt in the dead of summer. Your feet sweat but your ass stays cool. Go with that if it works for you.

Ina Sez Goodbye

Ina Sez Goodbye

Posted by: on Jun 1, 2017 | No Comments

Ina Sez Goodbye

Allie, Grandma Ina and Zach at the Steely Dan Concert in Bend Oregon

The Cancer Tsunamis

Posted by: on Apr 3, 2017 | No Comments

The Cancer Tsunamis

On November 14, 2016, my mother-in-law (Ina) was told that she not only had a spot on her pancreas, but she also had spots on her adrenal gland and liver. As I was sitting in the doctor’s office with her and my wife, I was 99.99% sure I knew what that meant. You know the 5 stages of grief? I skipped the first 4 realizing that I needed to be the one to keep my emotions in check while others around me might not be able to. That was Cancer Tsunami #1.

A little more than 2 weeks later, Ina would have a biopsy (actually for the second time). That same day, I was on a business trip to Syracuse University with my friend (and fellow SU alum) Betsy. I called my wife to check in, when she informed me that they had done a rush biopsy and that the cancer had been confirmed into 2 locations. 99.99% is now 100%. I have to go into a meeting and keep my shit together. On the ride home, I inform Betsy of what my wife are about to speak about. December 1, 2016 – Cancer Tsunami #2.

After spending most of Christmas week in the hospital dealing with post-chemo and pain issues, Ina moves in with Linda and me on New Year’s Day, 2017. The next 2-1/2 months are a whirlwind of doctors visits, chemo treatments, pain management (Fentanyl – a.k.a. legal heroin; morphine supplements; other stuff), most of which falls on Linda. FYI, I’ve been told by certain family members my Nobel Prize is waiting for me! Cancer Tsunami #3.

But the big CANCER TSUNAMI is the floodgates that were opened when all of this was swirling around Linda and me. It feels like cancer is an epidemic and once it hits you, the epidemic comes at you like a huge tidal wave…a tsunmai. Everyone you speak to, everyone you interact with in person or via social media, everyone is touched by cancer. Relatives, friends, business colleagues, casual acquaintances. I feel like I can’t go on Facebook without reading a post from someone who isn’t dealing with cancer on a personal level. They are raising money, they ask you to pray for a friend or relative, they post stories and photos of their own battle with cancer. Every time I hear or read about someone with cancer, I feel like that tsunami is pushing me down beneath the wave. I know that I can survive the tsunami and that I will eventually come up for air. I also know that there will be days when the weight of the water will make me feel like almost all the air is being squeezed out of my lungs.

Even when the tsunami has me down and almost out, I know that the battle against cancer is one we must wage so that we win the war. That the tsunami will end and leave only calm waters in it’s place.

 

My Cell Phone Ate My Life

Posted by: on Mar 15, 2017 | No Comments

My Cell Phone Ate My Life

I remember fondly the daze before cell phones. No calls from clients on weekends; no midnight texts from friends and family; no people banging into you walking down the street with their noses buried in their phones.