Toupée Daze

Posted by: on Mar 31, 2014 | No Comments

I was in Penn Station last week, when a man walked by me wearing one of the most ridiculous toupées I had ever seen. Looked like a steel wool pad. Now I’m not talking Brillo or an SOS pad. I’m talking one of those industrial strength steel wool pads. Something like this:

Does this look like hair to you?

Am I exaggerating?  Yes but not as much as you think. I honestly think I could have taken this guy’s hair piece home, put some dishwashing liquid on it and scrubbed a few pots and pans.

When it comes to hair, I’m lucky. Still got most of mine and what I’ve got is mostly brown.  Makes it easy for me to poke fun of those who are follickly challenged.  But if you know me, I could be completely bald and I’d still make fun of these people.

It’s not the going bald that’s so funny. It’s what people do to pretend that they are not going bald. Let’s explore the options.

First, we have the comb over. The comb over comes with 2 options:  First to third and home to second. Always fun in windy daze or when they come unglued (if that is being used). Nothing like seeing a bald man using this process when he comes undone. A dome on top with hair down to their ass coming out one side of their head.

Next we have plugs. The major problem here is sometimes plugs become unplugged. Than you are left with a dome with little holes in it. Shocking that the air doesn’t come leaking out of those people.

And now we come to the toupée, the hair piece, the rug, the lettuce leaf, a wig. Have you ever actually seen someone wearing one of these things that you couldn’t tell that it was topping on their snow cone? May as well put some whip cream and a cherry on that baby cause it’s not liking you are hiding the fact that you’ve gone bald!

For many man (and a few woman), going bald is a fact of life.  When I was younger and making fun of my prematurely balding friends, my mother used to tell me that her father was bald and that the balding gene came from the mother’s side of the pool. Luckily for me mom was wrong and lucky for her she didn’t put me into therapy over this (and a few other things).

My opinion is better to go bald proudly. Don’t try to cover it up. The results are usually worse and you never know what someone will think or do if you chose to wear one of those ridiculous toupées. You could end up in a kitchen somewhere with dish pan head.

Anonymous Comment Daze

Posted by: on Mar 26, 2014 | No Comments

4 years ago, I started this blog and branded myself as IraSez. On twitter I’m IraSez, whenever I sign up to contribute to another person’s blog or website, I’m IraSez, and if I had signed up under a different name before I was IraSez (which always included Ira in some form), I changed it to IraSez whenever I could. If you want to know who IraSez is, it’s pretty easy to find out. Just google IraSez and see what comes up on the first page. Me, me and more me.

Go to my blog and there’s my bio. No hiding, no anonymous posts, no funny cutesie names. When I have something to say, I want everyone to know it’s me.  Hey, I’ve even got my own hat!

The first (and not quite official) @IraSez hat.

This was not done for ego. It was done for brand recognition just in case I became a big hit in the blogosphere (and beyond!); so that my comments, thoughts, ideas, etc., would be consistent throughout the digital world (and beyond!). I wasn’t going to hide from anyone. If you don’t agree with me, than let me know it. I love a good discussion.

But many people are not as forthcoming as I am. Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing. I guess people like to hide under their own veil of anonymity, especially in today’s blog crazy comment crazy world. Bloggers (like me) have found their platform and the amateur commentators have found a place to spew their digital venom.  It’s very easy to insult someone when you are doing it as “Art Vandelay” or “The Muffin Man” or “Egon Spengler” as I’ve seen seen when reading a recent online news article. At least these folks are trying to be clever with their online moniker. Some folks just say Bob9 or another nondescript. As far as I’m concerned, these guys are all weenies.

To quote Bill Maher…”New Rule!” If you want to comment on anything online – my blog, a news site, a sports site, whatever floats your boat – do it with your own name. Don’t be a chicken. Don’t hide from being controversial or creating a little adversity. Speak your mind but speak with your own name. It’s as simple as IraSez.

Is The Earth Going To Drown?

Posted by: on Mar 25, 2014 | No Comments

If you believe everything you read in the Old Testament, there was once a great flood. If you believe just a little bit about what some scientists are saying today, the next great flood may not be so far away.

I’m not here to debate global warming or climate change or whatever you want to call it. Despite the fact that we had a pretty nasty winter here in New Jersey, the earth is getting warmer. That’s just a fact. Is it the natural cycle of things? Is it Al Gore’s “Inconvenient Truth?” and mankind’s wicked ways is overheating the planet. Is it the wrath of God coming down to smite the human species once again? Who’s to say but at some point real soon, we are going to face the consequences….if we aren’t already seeing some of those effects already.

The one area that many scientists are focusing on are the polar ice caps. This past Sunday on the HBO series “Vice” they did a segment on what is happening in Greenland. FYI, the average temperature in this section of the world above the Arctic Circle has risen 3.6 degrees in the past 50 years.

Watching Vice was an eye opener to say the least. Not only is Greenland (which is roughly 3x the size of Texas and is 80% covered in ice) in a state of major meltdown, it is happening way faster than anyone had predicted just 5 years ago. Some scientists are predicting that at the rate things are going, the effect of this meltdown could potentially raise sea levels by several feet in the next 50 to 100 years. For all of you worried about your beach houses…this is not good news.

To make matters even more interesting, many climatologists are saying there’s pretty much nothing we can about it. If we were to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 80% in the next 10 to 20 years, the best we could hope for is to stabilize the current rate of the meltdown, which appears to be accelerating every year.

For the hard left side environmentalists, this is a global catastrophe about to happen and issue numero uno. For the ignore the environment crowd on the right, the price tag to take on this issue is way too big. After all, who’s going to pay for this? In the end, I think we all are in same way.

As always, I look for a common sense answer to all of this. My brand of common sense tells me the earth is getting warmer, some of it is us and some of it is Ma Nature doing her thing. Common sense tells me the oceans are going to rise and their will be flooding more often and more damaging. Common sense tells me we can do something about it but I’m not so smart as to know what that is.

Later this week, the movie “Noah” opens in theaters. At this point, I’m beginning to wonder if we should consider it entertainment or a users manual on how to build an ark (cue Bill Cosby).


Profile Picture Daze

Posted by: on Mar 21, 2014 | No Comments

Earlier today I was surfing linkedin to see what folks had to share. Also went looking through the “People You May Know” section and I came across a recurring theme. The people I may know haven’t aged in years. As a matter of fact some of them look better than when I first met them. “How can this be?” you ask. Well, I will tell you. It’s because their profile pictures were taken before I knew them.

I’m not talking about a picture that’s a year or two old. In a couple of cases, we are talking decades. In case you are wondering, my linkedin profile picture is from 2010 but that doesn’t count because I haven’t aged since then. Look for yourself:

IraSez circa 2010.

Pretty much the same way I look today. As for that double chin, it’s an optical illusion. Always has been…always will be.

But I digress.  As for who some of the folks whose profile pictures could use updating, example numero uno is a cousin of a friend of mine. He’s probably in his early 60s and what’s left of his hair is completely grey. As for his profile picture, balding yes, grey…no way. I’ve know this guy for 15 years and his picture was taken way, way before I knew him.

Example dos is a woman I met at our tennis club many moons ago. She had a successful business career before taking up tennis full time. She’s probably 10 years older than me (which would make her at least 64) and her photo looks like she’s 10 years younger than me, which would make her 44.

But my favorite example is actually an ad I saw recently in a publication for a local real estate broker. First off lady, you shouldn’t be putting your picture in the paper to begin with. Secondly, you were using that same photo when I moved to New Jersey 23 years ago, and even than it was a few years old. It’s like those people who have too much plastic surgery. Do they think we can’t tell what they’ve done to their face when their lips are moving but the rest of their faces are completely starched? Does Mrs. Real Estate Lady circa think she’s fooling anyone with that picture from the last century? Let me tell you, you’re not fooling anyone…only yourself.

My opinion is people should stop denying their age. Aging is a fact of life. One of my favorite TV quotes comes the show Nip/Tuck. I’ve used it before and I will use it again. When the character played by Joely Richardson is asked by the 2 lead characters (who are plastic surgeons) if she’d like a few of her facial lines removed, she responds (and I’m paraphrasing a bit) “I like my wrinkles…they remind me of where I’ve been.” Good words for a common sense life.