Carry On Luggage Daze

Posted by: on Mar 19, 2015 | 2 Comments



A couple of weekends ago, I was in the Jewish Virgin Islands visiting my dad at Boca Del Vista. In other words, I was in Boyton Beach in Southern Palm Beach County at Hunter’s Run.

Airports and air travel just really get my creative juices going. There is just so much human emotional carnage when folks travel. This trip was no different.

On the flight home, one woman got very upset when they wouldn’t allow her carry on luggage onto the plane. For the folks working the check-in counter at the gate, it was actually a pretty easy decision.  Next to the check-in counter, right before you walk down the gang plank, is an FAA baggage size checker thingy, that looks just like this.


It’s actually very simple. If your bag fits, you are good to go. If your bag doesn’t fit, it gets checked, unless of course your some crazy bitch with a bag 10 inches too wide who thinks the rules don’t apply to you. If you are this crazy bitch, now is the perfect time to throw a hissy fit, yell at the folks working the gate, and keep all the other customers waiting. All of this continues no matter how many times you are told “it’s an FAA regulation. Your bag must fit in the baggage size checker.”

Now your bag is tagged and you roll it down the gang plank but does it stop there?  Of course not. You complain to the guy who is taking the bag from you (like he cares) and to another airline employee, who once again repeats “it’s an FAA regulation. Your bag must fit in the baggage size checker.”

In these situations, what crazy bitches really need are eyes in the back of their heads so they can see all the passengers who are just completely annoyed with them. I’m sorry but you are not getting any sympathy from this crowd. It’s very simple, “it’s an FAA regulation. Your bag must fit in the baggage size checker.” The real question is why you don’t get it? Why do you have to throw a hissy fit? Why do all the passengers have to inconvenienced by you? What make you so special?

Do you know what we all really wished? We wished that it was actually a gang plank (as I jokingly call it). That the crazy bitches of the world actually walked the plank right back to wherever it is they came from, so the rest of us can get on the plane, sit down in our seats, only to find out that you are sitting next to a woman who probably needs 2 seats to herself.  To top it off, she is carrying a screaming baby on her lap. But that is an IraSez for another day.


  1. Skip
    March 19, 2015

    three words Noise Cancelling Headphones!

    I cannot help with what you see or who you sit next to.

    Best Ira advise ever: check your bags, book an aisle seat, board last.

  2. JJ
    March 19, 2015

    Ali and I recently took a ‘bidness’ trip to said ‘kosher archipelago’ near to where Sir Seymour resides…Coming and going we found ourselves in a rolling herky-jerky conga line with the ‘luggage Lemmings’ being squeezed into the aluminum sausage casing of the 747. Anxiety spiking. Patience waning. Aisle seat-check. Middle seat-check. Would the person in the window seat be a TLC star of “My 600 Pound Life”? or the anti FAA kvetching b-ah-ch or an infant with the ‘waahs’?…Carry ons…carry ons..hoisted…all of this because of the airline’s deadly sin: Greed…What’s next? Oxygen charge??