Trains Trains Go Away

Trains Trains Go Away

I grew up on the Port Washington line of the Long Island Railroad. Far and away the best train line in the NY metro area. The local was 33 minutes, the express 23. No change in Jamaica, frequent service, and not a whole lot of problems – from what I remember…but it’s been a very long time since I last rode the LIRR on a regular basis.

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Cleavage Daze

Cleavage Daze

Without seeming to be a complete sexist or pervert or gawker or groper…what the hell is with women and their cleavage? I understand you have it, and some of you are overly proud of it, but do you have to show it off so openly? What’s a guy to do? Ignore it completely?

Earlier this week I was in Shop Rite. Standing at the deli counter were 2 women – I’m thinking mom and daughter.  Neither of them were in what one consider good shape, although mom was certainly in better shape than her offspring  – the daughter should have been hitting the salad bar…not the deli counter.  They were certainly both zaftig (another great Yiddish word which is used to describe a woman’s ample body type), dressed in black stretchy pants, black tank tops, and major league push-up bras that pushed up their assets into a cavernous cleavage. They weren’t hiding much.

I always wonder what women are thinking when they show off their wares like that. Do they want people to stare at their chests because it’s pretty hard to avoid? And this is not a random occurrence. Woman show off their cleavage all the time, in all sorts of places, including certain times and certain places where it’s completely inappropriate.

Imagine if a man walked around, showing off his package in a something like this.

It would be hard not to stare, wouldn’t it? And a women’s cleavage is a lot closer to eye level than whatever this guy is showing, so if you were staring, it would be a bit more obvious. But you don’t see guys walking around with their junk in skin tight package. Bad enough some guys still wear Speedos to the beach. Imagine what life would be like if seeing a guy in extra tight undies were the same as seeing a woman in a super push-up bra. Not appealing.

So ladies, if you like having a conversation eye to boobs instead of eye-to-eye, go right ahead and keep on flashing those ta-tas at us. But with all these equal rights movements going on these daze, don’t be surprised if some guys decide to show off their nuts, just to claim equality with your boobs.