Ew de cologne

Ew de Cologne

On my list of people I don’t want to be anywhere near is the person who wears too much perfume or cologne.  It’s up there right after the person with really bad body odor, just a completely different offense on the olfactory.

Last week, I was in the city for part of the day. It was hot, it was humid, it was sticky and some of the people really reeked but not because it was hot, humid and sticky…it was because they poured the whole dam bottle of whatever it is they wear all over themselves. Dude, it says a little splash not a little bath!

I remember when my son and his friends reached the age where they started wearing cologne. Everyone of them wore Axe (stink-a-roo) and everyone one of them used way more than a splash. When one particular young man was in our car (no names, no names) it took a week to get the smell out. You’d have thought he spilled the whole bottle on himself while he was sitting in our car.  It could be the dead of winter, 10 degrees out, snow blowing in all directions and I had my window open. It was either that or drive blindly as the tears rolled down my cheeks from the stench.

Those boys had an excuse. They were young, they had raging hormones and they had no sense of good taste (or sense of smell apparently). But when you are an adult and you are supposed to have some sort of refinement, I don’t think you want to be walking around smelling like the inside of a taxi cab that has one too many of those scented cardboard trees dangling from the rear view mirror. Just because you are wearing expensive cologne or perfume, doesn’t mean you need to let the whole damn world know about it!

Ladies and gentleman of all ages, here’s my advice. When it comes to how much perfume or cologne you think you should be wearing, a small splash or mistful will do. Remember, the nose you save maybe your own.