The Revenant Movie Review

Posted by: on Jan 15, 2016 | No Comments

My movie critic hat

The Revenant Movie Review

Today I’m putting on my movie critic hat, just like the caption sez. Last night I saw the new Leonardo DiCaprio epic The Revenant. Have to admit, I didn’t even know what “revenant” meant, so I looked it up: “A person who returns as a spirit after death; ghost.” So now I know and if didn’t know, now you know…y’know?

SPOILER ALERT – If you plan on seeing this movie and don’t want to be really mad at me, do not continue. If you frankly don’t give a shit…read on.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get to my thoughts on this movie. A couple of months ago, the coming attractions for this movie came out and my first reaction was “whaaaat?” Had to be one of the worst coming attractions I’ve ever seen because it was not the least bit attracting. So I’m thinking that’s one I don’t have to go see.

Than the hype started. Than the hype built. And yesterday the hype culminated with all those Oscar nominations. Even before the Oscars were announced, I had tickets to see the movie with my movie bud (hi Dave!), who I see many, many movies with. If it’s the right genre (sci-fi, action/adventure) and the reviews suck, we still go because the critics don’t know everything…right?

Back to the movie and quite frankly, I don’t get the hype and I don’t get the critics. It wasn’t a bad movie. It’s beautiful shot, Leo’s transformative performance is good and I wasn’t bored. On the other hand, it’s a tad too long, it’s bleak, the story has a few holes in it, and after sleeping on it – I like the movie less now than I did when it was fresh in my mind.

Plus, I’ve got a few issues (and here’s where those spoilers come in).  Leo survives a massive bear attack. OK, I can live with that. Leo crawls out of his buried-alive grave, crawls around for a few daze (or what seemed like a few daze), and manages to get back on his feet, although he is a bit wobbly. Still works for me. Leo goes on a very rough ride down a rapid and waterfall filled river in the dead of winter so that water the is probably just above freezing and he comes out with no frost bite or hypothermia. I’m not believing this so much. But it gets better. Leo and his horse jump off what has to be a 100 foot cliff and Leo survives. The horse…not so much but the poor beast does provide overnight shelter for Leo in what has to be a huge rip-off of Luke, Han and the tauntaun in The Empire Strikes Back. Got it all you Star Wars fans??? Not only does Leo survive, he actually walks better the day after the fall than he was before. Whaaaat?

When you go to the movies, one rule is your supposed to suspend your belief in reality, but that’s not true with all movie genres and in all cases. In this case, I’m not so suspended, even though (and let’s go back to the dictionary definition of revenant) Leo’s character might be feeling the spirit of his dead family (oh sorry…another spoiler there), who inspire him to live on and attain the revenge he so desperately seeks.

As I sad earlier, it’s not bad. Sort of like a National Geographic Explorer Show on life in the frozen wilderness, starring Academy Award nominee Leonardo DiCaprio. FYI…I watch nature shows all the time, watched part one last night when I got home about life in Africa just to warm up. The Revenant just wasn’t a great movie worthy of all this hype. Of the 8 movies nominated for Best Picture, I’ve seen 4 and this one would be #4 on my list, and I can think of a few movies that did not get nominated that I thought were better than this one.

In the end, the hype will probably win out, people will talk glowingly about the movie just because of the hype, Leo will finally earn that Oscar, and I will have no clue as to why. But what’s really bothering me is who the hell is Supreme Leader Snoke and how did he get the force?