Prickly Politicians

I once thought that one of my really good friends from SU had political aspirations. When I questioned him about this, I told him he better have some really serious hush money set aside for me because I know where all the skeletons are (right next to mine).  His reply was “Don’t worry, I’ll make you my Director of Communications.” This conversation took place before the internet, before twitter, before facebook and before what seems to be the weekly outing of some politician who can’t keep his wiener in his pants.

We all know that this is nothing new. The indiscreet escapades of our nations political leaders goes all the way back to the days of the Revolutionary War. What is new is that we now live in the digital information age where news is not reported by the town crier or delivered by pony express but zipped to your computer or smartphone in the blink of an eye, quicker than you can say “Peter politician pricked his pickled pepper.”

So what have we got for political leaders these days? We have adulterers, perverts, wannabe porn stars and a guy running for president preaching family values who has been married three times and it wouldn’t shock me if he’s looking for number 4. Now that’s a group worth associating with, don’t you think?

Political stupidity crosses all the lines – party, race, religion (and don’t get me started on those hypocrites), age, whatever. We’ve had careers and families destroyed because some guy who won an election didn’t realize that he was now a public figure and that his johnson was not for public display or consumption. Let me tell you, the minute you step one little toe into the political arena, even if you are running for dog catcher, your life is an open door to whoever wants to walk in. The big question is why don’t elected officials know this? I guess they are so self-centered and so full of themselves that they think they are above it all – above the law, above moral standards and way above the people they are supposed to serve.

All of this has got me thinking that maybe I missed my calling. Maybe I should be thinking of a career in politics. To the best of my knowledge there are no public photos of my private parts to be seen; no illegitimate kids around (and don’t ask how I know this) and I have been a faithful family man. On the other hand…wait…I must be stoned to think I could have a career in politics and that’s that.