Telemarketing Daze

Telemarketing Daze

Earlier today I got a call from some company selling solar panels, or at least that’s what I think this guy was selling because his Indian or Pakistani or whatever half-way-around-the-world accent he had was so thick, I could barely make out the words he was saying. When are telemarketing companies going to realize that the first rule of telemarketing in America is that you need to speak English in a manner that the average American can understand?

We’ve all experienced and/or heard the horror stories of calling technical support (for whatever it is you need support for), only to realize that you are probably speaking with somebody in Mumbai. Of course, they have some sort of Anglo name like Roger or Adam but their real names are undoubtedly Rajesh or Aarav. And please don’t call me racist or prejudice because this is not about race. It’s about business and a company’s ability to sell their product and/or services to an audience. If I wanted to be racist, I’d tell you that these folks have curry oozing out of their pores…which they don’t….at least not all of them….but if I did say that, well that would be racist. Making a point about the way someone speaks the English language is not racist, at least not in my speaking English as a first language book.

But what I don’t understand is how a company, trying to sell me a product or service, puts these people on the phone with me (or anyone like me) to begin with. Do they actually listen to these people speak before giving them a script and a call list? I can’t imagine that some telemarketing manager with half-a-brain actually thinks having these folks call me is a good idea. Most of these folks can’t even pronounce my name properly. It’s I-ra like eye; not Era with an E, or Ear-a (which is funny cuz I just want to shut my ears when these folks call), or however these jokers butcher my name. And don’t even get my started when they ask for “Ira Berkowitz.” I guess they don’t have many ‘witzes in Mumbai.