I use my blog for “keyboard therapy” as I like to call it. Started out mostly airing my pet peeves of life on planet earth but have written on some serious topics as well, mostly in defense of Mother Nature who I believe is on the verge of revolting against the human inhabitants of her planet.

Remembering Cosmo Berkowitz

Remembering Cosmo Berkowitz

“I want to get another dog.” Zachary Berkowitz, circa January 2005. This is where our story begins.

When Zach’s sister Allie got bat mitzvahed in 2002, we gave her some of her present money and told her to buy what she wanted. She got an iBook laptop computer. We offered Zach the same deal and he  said “I want another dog,” and he was quickly told no. Being the relentless little man that he was, he asked why. My explanation was simple – a dog is not a fixed purchase. You have food, vet bills, doggie sitting and more, plus we already had one dog – Ripley – and as far as I was concerned, one dog was enough. So Zach ended up getting a Tempur-Pedic mattress with his bar mitzvah money.

Over the next couple of years Zach kept asking and we kept saying no. In June of 2005, Zach announced that when he got home from camp, we were getting another dog. My response, “We will discuss it.”

The 2nd week of August, 2005, we met Zach at the bus from Camp Lenox at a hotel off the Garden State Parkway, somewhere around exit 157. It’s about a minute ride from the hotel parking lot to get back on The Parkway and before we could get one exit down that road, Zach says “So when are we getting another dog.”
My response was “I said we’d discuss it.”
To which Zach replies “No more discussing it. We need another dog. Allie is leaving for college and I’m going miss my sister so much, I need someone to replace her,” which is probably only half true but totally well played.
My response to him was something along the lines of “We have lot going on right now…we need to get Allie off to college…we can look into this when mom and I get back.”

So we got Allie off to college, came home and the next day not only was Zach all about getting another dog, his mother joined in. She called Mount Pleasant Animal Shelter, which is where we got Ripley, our 10 year old shepherd mix. They had a litter of boxer/shepherd mixes coming in and we were first on the list. Of course, Zach is checking out what that type of dog would look like and all I could see was a really big ball of shedding dog hair all over my house.

A day or two later, we are off to The Shelter to check out the pups and OMG are they cute when they are that small. Zach gets it down to 2 or 3 of the females and finally decides on one. At that point, I have to go home to get Ripley as the folks at the shelter want to see how she will react to this possible new addition to our family.

When I return to the shelter with Ripley, they put her in the conference with the new dog, who chases her around and Ripley promptly shits on the floor! At that point, the decision is made and we have ourselves a new dog.

Now I wanted to name the dog Honey for her coloring and for Cosmo’s toasted honey buns. My kids overrule me and decide on Cosmo (which I think is a bit of boys name) but we go with “Cosmo Girl,” at least that’s what I tell myself.  A week or so later, after being properly fixed, Cosmo comes home.

Zach & his new pup – the day we brought her home.

Our soon to be big dog, makes herself right at home. As much as I thought Ripley had a very human personality, Cosmo is just a big doofy dog. She is great at catching her frisbee and tennis ball, we play chase around an old picnic we had in our backyard, and she is a wonderful companion for long walks in the reservation.

In August 2010, after a battle with liver disease and just one day after getting both Allie and Zach off to SU, Ripley decides she has had enough and we are down to one dog. Although she is not much of licker, Cosmo does like to run out the door when I come home each day and jump on to my extended arm. She is also Linda’s early morning cuddle companion, so that Linda can get a few extra minutes sleep.

During the 2nd semester of his junior year, Zach call us to ask if he can bring Shay home. Shay is a dog one of his fraternity brothers adopted but whose parents won’t let him bring home…not to mention the fact that he had no clue as to how to take care of dog, which Zach did.  Zach had become one of her caretakers and they had grown very attached. We decide to go visit Zach and see how the 2 dogs get along. After the visit, we decided to let Zach bring Shay home and officially welcome her into the Berkowitz family. Cosmo has a new friend.

At some point, when Cosmo was probably around 9 years old or so, she started developing a floppy growth under her neck. The vet says to do nothing (which we later regret) but to give it a name. I call it Governor Cysty. This growth really became annoying for us to look at.

As time progresses, she does some damage to a ligament in one of her back legs, so we have to cut down on our long walks and eventually she can no longer jump into the car or onto the bed. The growth on her neck is joined by a series of small growths on the rest of her body.

Last spring, during the pandemic, Linda and I decided now was a good time to get another dog.

On July 4, 2020, Cassidy Berkowitz joins the family. We had hoped our new addition would give Cosmo a bit of life, but at 13 years old, she just took things in stride.

Last fall, as she was over 13 years old – a good age for her breed and size – I figured if it were a hard winter, she would have a tough time. Despite all the snow and cold we had, she came through like a trooper but age was definitely starting to take it’s toll. Walks became much shorter, she struggled getting up and down the stairs in our backyard, and she stopped coming upstairs to sleep in our room. In late May, she started having issues controlling her bladder and almost every night she was peeing in the house. I could sense the moment I dreaded was fast approaching.

On Saturday, June 12, 2021, Linda and I flew to California for a well deserved family vacation (as in the 6 of us) and birthday celebration. It had been several months since we had let Cosmo go to the dog sitter, which she used to do once a week but we had stopped as we felt it was no longer in her best interest. Our dog sitter knew that if there were a problem, we had Linda’s sister Donna on call to come up to the house and stay with Cosmo until our return. Unfortunately Linda got the call Sunday that Cosmo would have to be brought home on Monday. Thankfully Donna was there to help.

We returned home on June 16th. Over the next few days, I did my best to take Cosmo on late night walks in the hope she could make it through the night. It didn’t help. A couple of nights, I would hear her moving around the house, run down the stairs to get her outside but I was always too late.

9 days ago, she stopped eating and drinking. Last Thursday afternoon, she actually got up for a walk but she collapsed on the street and I had to carry home. Last Friday morning she walked to the car and  I lifted into the back for the last time.

We got to the vet and she walked inside. They brought her out back, lifted her onto a table, she laid down and smiled at me as if to say thank you, I love you and this is going to be much harder on you than it is me (and it was and still is). Moments later my Cosmo was gone and only now as I write this, am I truly letting it all go for the first time.

My 2 angels are now together. I loved them both and will miss them for the rest of my days.

The Big One Is Coming

The Big One Is Coming

Posted by: on Sep 8, 2017 | No Comments

The Big One Is Coming

A note from me: Everyone once in-a-while I write something but never finish or publish that post. This is one of those times, as I originally started this over 2 years but never finished. With the latest tech breach at Equifax, I’ve dusted this one out of the draft files and finished it off.

Wedding Proposal Daze

Wedding Proposal Daze

Posted by: on Jul 13, 2017 | No Comments

With kudos to Jeff for taking what is widely considered to be everyone’s favorite photo of the happy couple.

Wedding Proposal Daze

Two of my favorite movie wedding proposals belong to John Cusack. #1 is Grosse Pointe Blank, followed closely by High Fidelity. Wedding proposals

PornoPromography

Posted by: on Jul 13, 2017 | No Comments

PornoPromography

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine sent me a picture of his son and his prom date. She was wearing a fire engine red dress with a plunging neckline. Because all men are dogs, I knew that my friend was very proud of his son and the babe he had scored for his prom date. This would be the first (and certainly not the last) of many such images that would become a constant reminder that it now prom season, and that parents of young ladies would be posting many such pictures of their daughters wearing even more revealing prom dresses. So, I have come up with a name for this syndrome, social media phenomenon, call it whatever you want but I’m calling it PornoPromography.

I’m going to take you back to April 2005, to my very own daughter’s Sweet 16 birthday party. Now (and Allie please don’t shoot me over this one) one of the standard lines I had to repeat to my 16 year old daughter was “Allie, do you have to be so in love with your cleavage?” When it comes to this type of stuff, I have plenty of personal experience….and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The night of her Sweet 16 – an all female event – there were several other young ladies who were equally “in love with their cleavage.” So much so, that I felt I should be walking around with blinders on. It’s not that I was looking, it was just that you couldn’t avoid them!

When we got in the car to head home, I commented to Allie that several of her friends were definitely suffering from the “love my cleavage” syndrome. Without hesitation Allie said “you mean Jen, April and Chrissie.” Moving on.

At this time of year, pretty much any day you take a look at your Facebook page, there they are. The smiling faces of teenage boys and girls heading to their prom. Maybe it’s my imagination but it seems like each year the dresses get more revealing and the parents seem prouder to share their daughter’s assets with the world.

Where a few years back you had cleavage, now you have those side cut dresses that seem to be all the rage with high fashion set. On a model or cheap tart reality TV star (and I think you all know who I mean…because there are so many of them…but one that really just annoys the hell out of me….but that’s a story for another day), show off  3/4 of your boobs is one thing. You are trying to draw attention to “me” because after all, in your mind it’s all about “me.”

When you are a teenage girl, who are you showing off to? But in my mind the real question is who bought you that dress? Why are they letting you out of the house without it on? And why are they showing you off to the rest of the world in a dress like that? And why didn’t they buy a pair of blinders for your prom date!

Ina Sez Goodbye

Ina Sez Goodbye

Posted by: on Jun 1, 2017 | No Comments

Ina Sez Goodbye

Allie, Grandma Ina and Zach at the Steely Dan Concert in Bend Oregon

The Cancer Tsunamis

Posted by: on Apr 3, 2017 | No Comments

The Cancer Tsunamis

On November 14, 2016, my mother-in-law (Ina) was told that she not only had a spot on her pancreas, but she also had spots on her adrenal gland and liver. As I was sitting in the doctor’s office with her and my wife, I was 99.99% sure I knew what that meant. You know the 5 stages of grief? I skipped the first 4 realizing that I needed to be the one to keep my emotions in check while others around me might not be able to. That was Cancer Tsunami #1.

A little more than 2 weeks later, Ina would have a biopsy (actually for the second time). That same day, I was on a business trip to Syracuse University with my friend (and fellow SU alum) Betsy. I called my wife to check in, when she informed me that they had done a rush biopsy and that the cancer had been confirmed into 2 locations. 99.99% is now 100%. I have to go into a meeting and keep my shit together. On the ride home, I inform Betsy of what my wife are about to speak about. December 1, 2016 – Cancer Tsunami #2.

After spending most of Christmas week in the hospital dealing with post-chemo and pain issues, Ina moves in with Linda and me on New Year’s Day, 2017. The next 2-1/2 months are a whirlwind of doctors visits, chemo treatments, pain management (Fentanyl – a.k.a. legal heroin; morphine supplements; other stuff), most of which falls on Linda. FYI, I’ve been told by certain family members my Nobel Prize is waiting for me! Cancer Tsunami #3.

But the big CANCER TSUNAMI is the floodgates that were opened when all of this was swirling around Linda and me. It feels like cancer is an epidemic and once it hits you, the epidemic comes at you like a huge tidal wave…a tsunmai. Everyone you speak to, everyone you interact with in person or via social media, everyone is touched by cancer. Relatives, friends, business colleagues, casual acquaintances. I feel like I can’t go on Facebook without reading a post from someone who isn’t dealing with cancer on a personal level. They are raising money, they ask you to pray for a friend or relative, they post stories and photos of their own battle with cancer. Every time I hear or read about someone with cancer, I feel like that tsunami is pushing me down beneath the wave. I know that I can survive the tsunami and that I will eventually come up for air. I also know that there will be days when the weight of the water will make me feel like almost all the air is being squeezed out of my lungs.

Even when the tsunami has me down and almost out, I know that the battle against cancer is one we must wage so that we win the war. That the tsunami will end and leave only calm waters in it’s place.

 

My Cell Phone Ate My Life

Posted by: on Mar 15, 2017 | No Comments

My Cell Phone Ate My Life

I remember fondly the daze before cell phones. No calls from clients on weekends; no midnight texts from friends and family; no people banging into you walking down the street with their noses buried in their phones.

It’s The First Amendment!

It’s The First Amendment!

Posted by: on Feb 24, 2017 | No Comments

It’s The First Amendment!

For those of you that don’t know this one, this is The First Amendment of the Constitution of The United States of America:

Pathologicalnarcissism

Posted by: on Feb 16, 2017 | No Comments


Pathologicalnarcissism

After months on the sidelines, for a variety of reasons, I’m back. I’m also on the edge. On the edge of what, I have no idea. The edge of reason, the edge of insanity, the edge of drinking myself into a stupor. I’m not sure but I’m on the edge.

Memory Savant

Posted by: on Nov 23, 2016 | No Comments

Memory Savant

Have I ever told you about my crazy long-term memory? Well I got one. I often remember things about people that they don’t remember about themselves. As I’m fond of saying, “If I tell you something about yourself, chances are it’s true.” Don’t believe me? Just ask the roomies from SU…they will back me up.

Hit Reply All!

Posted by: on Sep 26, 2016 | No Comments

Hit Reply All…Sometimes

I’m sometimes wonder if people do things just to piss me off. Well not me, but they do it just to piss off other people in general.